Variety is the Spice of Life
By Jacqueline Rhoades - Romance Author
And IndieRomCon Attendee
Nothing sets a romance reader’s temper flaring quicker than
being told whatever romance novel they’re currently reading is nothing more
than chick porn. While I have no statistical data to back me up, it seems that
most of these comments come from men.
Now, those of us who read a wide variety of Romance novels
will be the first to point out that there is a lot of sexual territory covered
between what is commonly called sweet romance and the red-hot realm of erotica.
So anyone making the claim about the entire romance genre obviously doesn’t
know what they’re talking about, or do they?
According to Webster, my go-to guy for definitions,
pornography can be defined as “a portrayal of erotic behavior designed to cause
sexual excitement.” Hmmm. So what does this say about the reader who sighs
deeply and lets her fantasies run wild over a passionate, fully clothed kiss
under the proverbial apple tree? To me, it says she’s not a whole lot different
from the reader who gets the same boost from an erotic BDSM novel. Eroticism is
in the mind of the beholder, is it not?
We all have different thresholds and opinions about what we
consider sensual or sexy and romance novels have always pushed the envelope for
what is acceptable sexual behavior for women. Historically, that’s been the
argument against them from the beginning. Romance novels make us think and
dream about things conventional society is uncomfortable with. It allows us to
fantasize about people and circumstances outside our everyday lives. Good for
us!
There is a vast difference
between reading and viewing. It is one of the reasons I’ve always enjoyed
horror stories, but rarely watch horror movies. Watching movies, I’m at the
mercy of the director. I can’t yell “Cut!” if the scene becomes too vivid. When
reading, my mind’s eye has a filter on it that prevents me from ‘seeing’ more
than I can handle.
I believe this is true for
romance readers as well. We can filter those sex scenes into something we’re
comfortable with by skipping, skimming or visualizing the scene with as much or
as little detail as our personal preference dictates.
We buy the books written by authors who fulfill our romantic
tastes in their writing. Depending on our age, our stage in life, our
upbringing, our attitudes toward sex and even our hormonal predilections, those
tastes may change from year to year, month to month or even day to day as the
mood strikes us. How wonderful to have such a huge selection of authors and
books to offer us such a variety.
We may argue amongst ourselves as to how much descriptive
sex is necessary for our enjoyment, but I think we can all agree that romance
is first and foremost a love story and that is where our ‘chick porn’ differs
from the other kind. Sex, even mind-blowing sex is not enough to satisfy any
true romance reader. There has to be something more, something emotionally
deeper between our romance novel’s protagonists for us to get that romantic
high and for many of us, that includes a Happily Ever After ending or at least
a Happy For Now.
That’s the real turn-on for
romance readers and for those who laugh about our chick porn, there’s some
statistical data out there you might want to look up. Women who fulfill their
fantasy lives through reading romance novels tend to engage in more frequent
sex and enjoy it more!
So for those who make derisive
comments about Romance readers, I say this: instead of ridiculing us for our
chick porn, maybe you should go out and buy your significant other a romance
novel. Better yet, read one yourself.
OORAH!!! ;)
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